Rediscovering your calm during menopause

Have you ever found yourself putting the car keys in the kitchen waste bin only to discover them the next day after turning the house upside down? Or stood in the middle of a room, completely blank on why you walked in there? Maybe you lose your train of thought mid-sentence, or forget names, appointments, or everyday words.

If any of this sounds familiar, I want you to know something very important: you’re not alone, and you’re definitely not “losing it”. The car keys in the kitchen bin, yep that was me a few months ago. After giving up the search and cleaning the house, I went to empty the bin and sat underneath the coffee granules there they were!

For many women navigating perimenopause and menopause, this kind of foggy, forgetful thinking that we often call brain fog, is incredibly common. It can feel frustrating, isolating, even a little scary. But it’s also understandable. And more than that, it’s something you can gently support and ease.

Brain fog during midlife and changes in your brain

Hormonal changes during perimenopause and menopause don’t just affect your body. They affect your brain, too. Oestrogen plays a vital role in supporting memory, concentration, and emotional regulation. So, as hormone levels fluctuate or decline, it’s no wonder your mental clarity and focus might feel harder to hold onto.

Add to that the stress many women carry at this stage of life, from caring for others, work responsibilities, sleep disruptions, and often feeling pulled in every direction, and the brain starts to get overwhelmed. The emotional primitive part of the brain, (the flight/fight/freeze part), steps in to protect you, and your intellectual brain, (the prefrontal cortex) that is responsible for high-level thinking and memory , gets temporarily sidelined.

That is why you might find your car keys in the bin! Not because you’re losing your mind, but because your brain is tired and is just doing its best to cope.

Emotional regulation: a key to clarity

Emotional regulation is the ability to move through feelings like stress, sadness, or frustration without becoming stuck in them. It doesn’t mean you being emotionless or always calm. It means having enough space between your feelings and your reactions to respond gently and clearly.

When your nervous system feels more balanced, your brain can come back online. Your memory, concentration, and decision-making naturally improve and you feel more like “you”.

A gentle, brain-based forward-focused approach

This is where Solution Focused Hypnotherapy offers something gentle yet incredibly powerful. It doesn’t ask you to relive difficult memories or explain everything that’s going wrong. Instead, it invites you to pause, to breathe and to imagine, even just for a few moments, how you’d like things to feel.

Through calm, positive conversations and deeply soothing guided relaxation (hypnosis), sessions help to ease your primitive emotional brain and gently bring the thinking intellectual part back into balance. It’s not magic. It’s your mind being given the space and support it needs to reset.

Clients often say they feel clearer, calmer, and more grounded. That everything feels lighter and brighter and they feel better equipped to handle what life throws at them. Including misplacing keys again, with a bit more humour and a lot less stress!

Supportive self-care habits

Here are some simple, supportive self-care habits you can try to put this gentle care into practice and help your brain feel more clear and calm:

• Prioritise focused breaks – when your brain feels tired, try short bursts of focused work (about 25 minutes), followed by a few minutes to pause, stretch, or make a cuppa. It helps clear mental clutter and supports concentration.
• Support your memory with simple tools – use a diary, post it notes, or reminders on your phone. Writing things down frees your mind from holding onto too much and can ease frustration.
• Simplify your environment – a calm, tidy space, whether that’s your kitchen worktop or your desk, reduces distractions and helps your brain process more easily.
• Practice gentle self-compassion – brain fog is a sign your brain is adapting so being kind to yourself and giving yourself patience can help calm your nervous system.
• Nourish your body and mind – drink plenty of water, eat balanced, nutritious meals, and add gentle movement into your day, perhaps a walk, yoga, or even pottering in the garden.
• Establish simple routines – consistent daily habits save mental energy and reduce decision fatigue, leaving more focus for what matters most.
• Limit multitasking – focus on one thing at a time. It may feel slower, but it reduces cognitive overload and supports better clarity.
• Rest and recharge – quality sleep and moments of quiet during the day are vital for brain recovery, whether that’s an early night, a Sunday lie-in, or five peaceful minutes with a cuppa.

These tips are simple, but when combined with the calming benefits of hypnotherapy, they can really support you in finding better balance and “you” again.

You’re not alone and you can rediscover your calm

If brain fog is making you feel scattered, emotional, or unlike yourself, please remember: this is a real, recognised part of what many women experience in perimenopause and menopause. It doesn’t mean you’re failing or “losing it”. It means your brain and body are adapting, and asking for more care and calm.

You don’t have to power through or pretend you’re fine. There is support available. Support that is gentle, encouraging and tailored to help you reconnect with  your own inner clarity and gentle strength.

And you’re absolutely allowed to practice self-care and give yourself permission to prioritise your health and wellbeing. In fact, it’s not a luxury it’s a key ingredient to feeling better.

You already have that strength within you. Sometimes, you just need the right space to rediscover it.

I support women in midlife to rediscover their calm, one gentle meaningful step at a time. You can read more on my Perimenopause and Menopause page Hypnotherapy for Menopause in Nottingham – Katie Deacon or contact me for a free 45 minute consultation by email at katie@katiedeacon.co.uk.