When life feels like one long to-do list

Do you ever have those days when life feels overwhelming, and you’ve been busy from the moment you wake up until the moment you go to bed, but somehow still feel like you haven’t done enough?

You’ve replied to the messages, sorted the appointments, dealt with work, remembered what needs buying, checked in on everyone else and probably already started thinking about what needs doing tomorrow. There always seems to be something else that needs your attention.

And sometimes it’s not even the amount you’re actually doing that leaves you feeling overwhelmed. It’s the constant thinking about everything that needs doing.

You might be sitting down in the evening, but your mind is still going. You’re thinking about the email you need to send tomorrow, the appointment you need to book, the jobs you’ve not got around to yet or something that’s coming up that you need to prepare for.

Your body may have stopped, but your brain hasn’t quite got the message.

When this happens regularly, it’s easy to start thinking that this is just how life is. You’re busy. Everyone’s busy. You’ll slow down and take a break when things settle down a little.

But there is always another email, another appointment, another job that needs doing or another person who needs something from you. And if you’re constantly thinking ahead, it can become really difficult to properly switch off.

Why life can feel overwhelming

Our brains are designed to keep us safe and help us respond to what is happening around us. When we have lots going on, our attention naturally moves towards what needs dealing with and what might need our attention next.

That’s really useful when we need to get things done. But when we’re constantly in that mode, it can leave us feeling like we’re always “switched on”.

You might notice that you’re more irritable than usual, that you’re finding it harder to concentrate or that little things are starting to feel much bigger than they normally would.

Perhaps you’re tired, but when you get into bed and your head hits the pillow your mind suddenly seems to come alive. You start thinking about everything you’ve done that day, everything you haven’t done and everything that’s waiting for you tomorrow, next week, next month.

And when we’re feeling like this for long enough, it can leave us feeling stressed, overwhelmed and emotionally drained.

The difficult thing is that when we’re already feeling overwhelmed, our natural response can be to try and get more organised and do more. We make another list, try to fit more into the day or tell ourselves that we just need to get on top of things.

We might even decide that we need to exercise more, eat better, sleep better and make more time for ourselves.

Before we know it, practising even a little self-care and looking after our wellbeing has become another thing we need to fit into an already busy life.

Perhaps you don’t need to do more

Sometimes, when life feels overwhelming, the answer isn’t to find another thing to add to your list. It’s about creating a little more space.

That might mean taking a step back and asking yourself what really needs your attention today and what could wait. It might mean noticing how much pressure you’re putting on yourself and asking whether everything really needs to be done perfectly, or whether “good enough” would be enough.

And perhaps it’s simply asking yourself:

What would make life feel a little easier right now?

Not what would make everything perfect. Not how can I get everything done.

Just what would make things feel a little easier.

Because small changes can make a meaningful difference to how we feel.

Honestly… you don’t have to sort everything all at once

When we’re overwhelmed, it’s very easy to look at everything that’s going on and feel like we need to sort it all out before we’ll feel better.

But you don’t. You can start with one small thing.

Maybe there’s something you’ve been saying yes to that you could say no to. Perhaps there’s something you could ask someone else to help with. Maybe there is something that feels urgent but actually doesn’t need to happen today.

And sometimes it’s about noticing what’s already working. Even when life feels difficult, there are usually things that are helping us more than we realise.

This is something I explore with clients too. Rather than trying to fix everything at once, we can look at what you’d like to be different and then focus on the small steps that can start moving you towards that.

Because feeling calmer doesn’t necessarily mean having a completely different life.

It’s about finding ways to respond differently to what life brings, quietening the mind and feeling that you have more choice in how you deal with things.

Remember… fill your cup first!

If you’ve spent years being the person who remembers, organises, supports and keeps everything moving, it can be difficult to put yourself back on the list.

But your wellbeing matters too and you don’t have to wait until you’re completely overwhelmed before you decide that something needs to change. And you don’t have to get everything else done first before you’re allowed to take care of yourself.

Sometimes change starts with something very small. An intentional pause. A different way of looking at something. Being a little kinder to yourself. Or simply deciding that you don’t have to carry everything today.

Life will always have things that need our attention. We can’t remove all the demands, responsibilities and unexpected challenges that come our way.

But we can learn to notice when we’re carrying too much, understand what’s happening in our minds and find ways to create a little more space.

And sometimes, that’s where change begins.

If this blog has resonated with you, you might also like to read my blog, Practical ways to lift the weight of stress and overwhelm, where I share some simple strategies that can help calm a busy mind and support your emotional wellbeing.

If stress and overwhelm are affecting your wellbeing, you can read more about how I can support you on my stress and overwhelm service page, or contact me for a free 45-minute consultation at katie@katiedeacon.co.uk.

Sometimes, one small, meaningful step can make all the difference.